Stuck in the middle with me

Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you

“Stuck In The Middle With You” by Gerry Rafferty & Joe Egan, performed by Stealers Wheel

I’m a centrist. A fence-sitter. A negotiator and a compromiser. Under “moderate” in the dictionary there’s a nicely-etched portrait of yours truly.

Nobody likes centrists. People on the right and left think we just can’t make up our minds about anything. We fear commitment. We’re hedging our bets. Our laissez-faire attitude infuriates true believers, who are convinced we don’t believe in anything.

I understand why they’re frustrated with us. Even moderates don’t like having political discussions with other moderates. I mean, what’s the point? It’s almost certain we’ll end up agreeing with each other, and where’s the fun in that?