Destination: Maine – Day 1

Launched the Maine trip yesterday with a marathon 580 mile drive to Johnson City, New York (the “Home of the Square Deal.”) After finishing last minute preparations and dropping Raven off at the boarding kennel (the “pet resort” is what I’m calling it in my mind so I can imagine her having a really great time while we’re gone), we took off around noon. Since two of our party lacked the necessary international security documents to cross into Canada, we instead took a southerly tour of Lake Erie via Toledo, Cleveland and Erie, Pa. (Why do all the mileage signs along I-90 need to say “Erie Pa”? Are the sign makers afraid we’ll mistake it for Erie, Ohio or Erie, New York? Or the lake itself?)

We also ate pretty high on the hog, baby, stopping at two McDonalds and one Burger King (where I was so disgusted by the restaurant itself and the thought of eating any more fast food in one day that I settled for a Little Debbie apple pie from the attached convenience store.) There’s something about fast food restaurants connected to gas station convenience stores that triples the disgustingness. Avoid at all costs.

Stayed the night at the Traditions at the Glen Resort in Johnson City. Got a nice last-minute rate on Expedia, a cut above a discount motel but at about the same price. Kids just came in, though, and said the breakfast was not that great, so I may skip that for now. I’m preparing to change to my planned Maine diet, which is lobster appetizers followed by lobster main course followed by lobster cupcakes for dessert. If I can figure out how to include lobster in my drinks, I’ll be doing that too.

We’re off to Cooperstown today. I hear there’s something to do with baseball there. We may have to stop and check that out.

Brattleboro, Vermont is the place we shall rest our heads tonight. Later!

Author: Tom Kephart

Actor, director, writer. Social media guy. Higher ed drone. Sings for beer in karaoke bars.